Full circle

"It takes some silence to make sound,

And It takes a loss before you found it,

And It takes a road to go nowhere,

It takes a toll to make you care,

It takes a hole to make a mountain"

It's a weird place to be.

If you guys haven't already known, I didn't make it.

Having to face a failure, a turning in life where the outcome isn't something to smile about; can be very depressing. I feel like I was being pushed down - instead of being pulled as per the law of gravity; by everything that comes with this failure. It is suffocating.

However, I am (almost) done with the crying, have decided to see it in the most positive way that I can. My family and friends have been so supportive of me, they believe in me in times where I stopped believing in myself.

And because I have their love, I will be fine.

Everything happens for a reasons, I keep telling myself. I really hope I am right.

I will definitely take the exams again next year, and I will make it this time around.

Someone told me that if I didn't sway my attention off the "law" path - that is if I didn't work full time right after graduation in a field not directly relevant to law, and that if I attended classes full time, I would have passed. That if I wasn't "distracted" from my aim to be a lawyer, I would not have struggled this much.

That someone was not totally wrong, I am sure it would have been very different. I won't say I would have passed per se, but it would make things more "normal".

However, that someone is wrong in saying that I didn't have a "goal", or that I didn't keep my eyes on the prize; thus attended to "other things in other fields".

Everyone has a different life - different responsibilities, different perspective on all things.

How can you compare? You cannot even begin to, trust me.

Just because I ventured into another line, I am less a "lawyer"? No way in hell.

If any, my work experiences, the ones I got while I was "distracted", I am one-hundred per cent certain, will make a better lawyer that I will ever be, a better employee, a better colleague, a better learner, a better person.

Regrets? No thank you.